Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. Cookie Notice Learn more about, Realizing I Had PPD After Returning to Work as a Soldier in the U.S. Army, Planned c section too presumptuous??? Why not abortion?? No passion. Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. You're a mom now. "All of the rational thoughts. In some cases it works, but for many it doesn't. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. Being in a lo. know it's right to give her the fact straight but she is just a really nice person, and I feel really **** you know! well you could say society won because it was able to force a marriage albeit a miserable one. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. She was expressing her feelings and thoughts about feeling like she won't love her child which she should probably talk to her doctor or a therapist about since I'm pretty sure there is a form of depression you can have before having the child but can't think of the name of it off the top of my head. Paula Perry has a multi-page spreadsheet titled "Squirrels," which details the health and wellness of tiny, injured baby squirrels she keeps in her house. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. *I also grew up in a home where my parents were unhappy. There is no right way to be a parent there is the only way that you want to do it. Add to Collection. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! Ex My moving on process. Privacy Policy. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. You would [hopefully] love your child, while also realizing that you shouldn't be having sex with anyone that you don't want to have a baby with. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Sex can lead to pregnancy and I'm assuming you knew the possibility of pregnancy when you made the choice. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. It's his car, it's not petty if he keeps it. no one is going to be happy in that relationship. It tears me apart. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? The episode was written by Jennifer Crittenden and . I do not know the answer to that. Not. It is something i always knew deep down but i never acted on it. That's what we tackle in today's blog. 11 Can't Shake The Baby Blues. Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? Don't stay just for the kids. We literally virtually broke up the night before! The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. I'm sorry this is long but I have no one else. A friend of mine just had a kid w/ someone 1-2 weeks before meeting his current GF (who he loves but is probably leaving him over this - who can blame her?) I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. MzGee Ditches 3Music TV To Take Over Nana Ama McBrowns Show At UTV. Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? I've been in one relationship like it and told myself I wouldn't be in one again. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. Just not with her. And 3 children. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. My greatest concern is the child. I know things would be going so much smoother in my life if I wasn't preggo but there hasn't been a day I questioned my love for this baby. Women are doing everything they can to get contraception. Is she shaka Zulu or she is not attracted to u?? Why would you do that? Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. When we found out this baby is a boy, the feeling of disconnection multiplied; I know this baby is going to be like his daddy. It will not update but downgrade yourself. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. She's too far along to have an abortion.,. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. I am wondering if i can and how i can win my ex back. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. THAT'S IT. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. Take this advice as if your life depends on it. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. HAPINESS IS AN INDIVIDUAL RESPOSIBLITY. Immerse yourself in nature. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. There are many things that may cause a broken heart. If thats all he wants, he will be gone. You may want to consider marriage counseling talk to your pastor, priest whatever. That's when one of them dropped the term . Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. He's not in love so he's selfish??? And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. If she says she doesn't want the relationship then that's fine but if a man says he doesn't then that's selfish. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . It just reads so snobby and lazy. Lastly, keeping a child she wanted to abort could cause her to hate the child, it's not guaranteed she would love the child when it was born. It was ok if we didn't want to be together. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Is anyone in the same situation. Unfortunately it only lasted 4 and half years because he was becoming abusive. He was a rebound for me. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. Having children is not cheap. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. GET A DNA TEST AS SOON AS THE CHILD IS BORN!!! He just has a side I don't like. In fact, I was planning on breaking up with him right before I found out I was pregnant. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. Wear a condom, or allow some woman to own your future (and your money) for a couple decades of your life! If you don't love her then don't be with her. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on January 22, 1995. I need advice too. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. We've been together 9. It's why your lady friend just said those two possibly thrilling, possibly terrifying words: "I'm pregnant." So what do you say when the woman you. Love My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 23, 2022 Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock When I met my polyamorous boyfriend , Buddy, I couldn't. The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. Find advice, support and good company (and some stuff just for fun). It's not that they don't want to. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. My daughter was born healthy, but of course small. Well of course he would keep the car. By Simon Maybin. 'I regret having children' In pushing the boundaries of accepted maternal response, women are challenging an explosive tabooand reframing motherhood in the process By Anne Kingston At first. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. Sounds like she was looking for a sugar daddy and ended up getting pregnant. All rights reserved. bcus a womens cry n tongue is very sharp. What can I do please? Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. Either way, I was ready to "play house". Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. One in 4 women will hang onto 11 lbs. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. You're an adult. I got my, now wife, pregnant but she never loved me, in fact a month before she got pregnant she actually went to spend the night with some dude at a hotel in a different city, but she told me she just wanted to go away for a couple of days. Why can't you go back to doing what you were doing before you met? Though it didn't work out, I never regretted it. we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. On the most basic level, these changes, prompted by a flood of hormones during pregnancy and in the postpartum period, help attract a new mother to her baby. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. Source these things out and make a plan to leave. It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. Why is she with you? You need to get in contact with services and leave. Download Preview. What kept us together is our deep friendship and and our ability to communicate. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. "Most women will find intercourse painful up until the three-month mark," notes Ross. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. Don't marry someone you don't love. I got pregnant and was pressured to get married. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. Birth control, as the objection went, could actually serve to raise the abortion rate by encouraging people not ready to have children to have sex at the risk, however small, of becoming. A woman isn't damaged after engaging in sex, having a baby, or ending a bad relationship. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. Falling in love again at 47 and marrying for the second time at 52 was a miracle. We are two total opposite people. There are many women out here who will do this if given the chance. It's like I've been sleepwalking all this timeI apologize for my rumbling, i really needed to get this off my chest. Good luck to you. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. 1. Long story short: we've togheter Long distance girlfriend pregnant and is thinking about breaking up. Long story short my ex dumped me. Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. Have you told him you're pregnant yet? Steve. I wasn't happy. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. You can't force yourself to love him. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. woman in labor woman giving birth Sort by: Most popular Woman with newborn baby Pretty woman holding a newborn baby in her arms Are these issues still there? In the end its all about the kids. My ex boyfriend keeps liking my photos. In the episode, Homer recounts the story of Maggie's birth when the kids ask why there are no photos of her in the family album. He bought it and it is in his name. When I had my first baby as a young single mom, I didn't have a car and I figured it out with the help of my family. My girlfriend admitted to me that she cheated. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. If you don't like something about your life, MAKE A CHANGE. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Sex is the leading cause of babies. It's stressful I have strong feelings for him and he says he does to but it's not just are little fantasy anymore things got so rushed and our maturity levels are so different. You're sort of talking like you want a sugar daddy. I too feel torn by a similar situation. Add to Collection. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? I want to come home from work to my son EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK, but I can't if me and the mother aren't together. It might even be too late for you anyway. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. Reach out to your family and let them know what's going on. Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. . SCENARIO 1: STAY WITH HER BECUASE SHE IS PREGNANT (THIS IS THE FOUNDATION OF THE RELATIONSHIP). Help :(. A. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. marriage should not be a punishment or a form of contract. I got pregnant in September of 2011. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. I need help moving on. Ive just seen your reply and am unhappoy in my relationship but dont want to end it for the kids sake! Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. I'm a **** if I lie and say I love her and be with her. Even when you first meet your new child, don't put expectations on how you should feel. Does anyone relate? Nothing from the start. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. gals are expect dnt 4get. Welcome to the world little one! ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. Many things will change during the whole 9 months of pregnancy. Accept That You Will Never Be First. AND NOW EVERY ONE IS UPHAPPY, MISARABLE, INCLUDING THE CHILD. Life is too short to spend even one month chained to someone you're not in love with. (11 Possible Meanings), how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby, reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else, How to Sweep A Cancer Man Off His Feet - Zodiac Signs, 32 Best Reasons to Date a Nurse (The No.1 Caretaker), Things You Need to Know About Dating Portuguese Man (The Sexiest Boyfriend), 35 Crazy and Undeniable Signs That She Friendzoned You, 25 Reasons Why You Should Date The Outgoing Introvert, Reasons to Choose the Girl with the Complicated Pastand How to Love Her Right. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. Sorry I must've misread. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. Best of luck. For more information, please see our To start? Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. I want to be a father!!! They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. How I wish she can understand and let me leave my life and be free. You're a dude she just met, maybe at a bar, maybe on a dating site. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. Hair. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. He is a grown up. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. Sucked it up and did what I had to do for my kids. If you do not want posts which do not comply with your state of mind, don't post. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. I dont want to jump into marriage as if its a job contract I am signing expecting that one day it will expire. And in some cases, she may want to keep the baby, but you don't. But what do you do in this situation? My youngest doesn't really remember anything. I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. I make significantly more income then her, so I know she will need the child support, which will at least allow me to be in my child's life, but I don't want my child to be exposed to an unhappy marriage. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade have welcomed their first baby to their family. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. Ease into the conversation. It has been the hardest most brutal experience of my life. And you will also need to take a firm decision on what you think is best to be done. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. Even though you never had the intention to have a serious relationship with your current partner, you still need to discuss the problem with him. OK LETS TRY TO LOOK AT WHAT IS: IS ANYONE THINKING ABOUT THIS FROM THE CHILD PERSPECTIVE? Good one boys real mature!! Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. 15) His biological clock is ticking. It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. Eventually though, it caught up to us. Married for few months. Drop me a comment below to let me know what you think. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? We tried to make it work. Unless GF is somehow unfit, she'll get custody, meaning she makes the calls and gets support (e.g. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. Good luck! I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It doesn't, does it? Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. It wasn't ideal but eventually I got a better job and bought myself a nice car. The problem I have now is that have a beautiful baby girl with one girl I impregnated whom I dont love. Long story as short as possible! What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. First, she's too far along. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. 4. You should do what will make you happy. I feel like I'm forcing myself to love her. So here's the long story short My pregnant girlfriend hates me and keeps pushing me away! Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? I hope you find what you're looking for. It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. Man and woman making love in bed. And a bit frightening. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. And the same with me. Noooo you have to marry and then spend the rest of your lives in hell with someone you slept with? You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? Regret will always be there when we made a mistake. Good luck to you. Please select a reason for escalating this post to the WTE moderators: Connect with our community members by starting a discussion. She is 6 months pregnant now. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. No one would want their daughter and unborn grandchild in that type of situation. my point is no one really wins in this situation. On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. YES PRO-LIFE HOWEVER THINK ABOUT IT THIS WAY COULD YOU PROVIDE THE BEST FOR THE CHILD? What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? That showed up as a third factor." If only i had acted 2-3 years ago when things were simpler and i was a little younger. Thank you for purchase! No need to waste time your life and time on him. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. I am at a loss as to what I must do. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. What was even worst she call me two days later to ask me if I could pick her up and I did. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. Nobody really knows what to expect when having a baby, but it does change everything, even if you're determined it won't. Some people may view the prospect of that change as scary and they may doubt their parental skills." Opinions please. as expected the women are been overly sentimental, ganging up on the guy insulting, and throwing reason out the window. FTM. . hmmmm my advise to u is to pray to God n ask for forgiveness, i wonder the big talk u used on this gal b4 u got her on bed and now ur running frm ur responsibility. I would be too miserable too even think of looking at other women. @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. He's not all bad. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. silly boy so u r one of the stupid men who go abt using girls 4 sex.dont luv her dont touch her. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. Would I do it again? Also, don't give her a dime of your money towards the baby until you find out if it's yours. General Baby Shower Wishes And Congratulations. If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. I tried to make myself love him. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men.
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